What??? I'm not perfect?

As I grew up, for some reason, I always was striving to be perfect at whatever I did. I don't know why but I always had this thought in my subconscious that I was never good enough. From the outside looking in, you wouldn't be able to tell, but that's what I dealt with. This cycle of perfection seeking has not disappeared, as a matter of fact, it got worse with my birth of my first daughter Bella. I was killing myself trying to be the best at web design, life insurance selling, marriage, and the list goes on. It wasn't until I started working with a life coach that I realized I was perfect the way I was. The amount of energy I put towards seeking perfection was amplifying my stress levels and making it where my work/life balance was way off.

Transition 4 years later, and I'm of course the proud father of two little girls. I'm always preaching about being present for you kids, taking them on personal 1:1 nights, playing games with them, and working towards being the best father you can be. I did have a dose of reality during the last few days, when I made a mistake. I forgot to love my kiddos unconditionally. Now before you jump to conclusions, let me explain. We've been dealing with a nasty flu in our house and my oldest hasn't been sleeping. It's taxing on all of us and emotions can run high. For some reason, I got in a funk about my "lack" of perfection in multiple areas and didn't give my girls unconditional love when they were more emotional and irritable than usual. I choose to be slightly disconnected throughout the weekend and by the time my wife pointed out that I was not myself, it was too late. I had already missed out on opportunities to pamper my kiddos with the love that they deserve. Of course I still made their meals, and helped them with art projects. What I didn't do was be proactive rather than reactive in my interactions with them. When I woke up this morning, I realized what I had missed out on.

The good news is that's okay. I need to learn from my mistakes and the next time i'm in a self induced "funk," I need to remember how special these little lives are that I am helping craft with my wife. My goal today is to show them how much I love them and how that love is unconditional. No matter what they do, or how I feel, my love for them won't waver. I might not ever do things perfectly because if I did, life would be boring!

Have you ever been challenged with showing compassion or love in circumstances that were less than desirable?

- Nathan